Written for Carol's Daughter's www.transitioningmovement.com
Okay, ladies… Here’s one of those times when we’re probably gonna disagree, and although it may offend some of you, I gotta ask… Yo… What is up with the see through clothing?
This is one of those things I’ve been really trying wrap my head around ever since I witnessed the first woman I’d ever seen wearing sheer leggings with, what I could only suspect was a pair of Victoria Secrets underwear underneath. And don’t raise your eyebrow at me like I was somehow not supposed to notice it. ALL men (and I’m not excluding gay men here) notice. Even if we don’t want to notice, we notice because we’re hardwired and preprogrammed to notice, which makes the increasing number of sheer blouses on the streets of New York and, assuredly a town near you so mind-numbingly aggravating (while at the same time kinda cool, but not).
It started with the sweat pants with stuff like “Can’t touch this” written on the butt, then moved from there to leggings, which my wife explained were only about comfort and had nothing to do with the way it accented and drew attention to “can’t touch this.” After that, it was like all Hell broke loose. Cat suits in the office... sheer T-shirt with no bra... The no padding bras that showed a woman's - never mind. My point is that, as a dude, I’m just noticing how far the envelope is being pushed, and I’m wondering why and genuinely wondering 'what’s the endgame?' Is it that women are dressing for women’s attention or for men’s? Are the leggings truly for comfort, or is there an expectation that we, as men, will beyond a shadow of a doubt objectify you?
“Where’s all this coming from?” you may ask. Well, a little over a month ago I spent a day with my 14-year-old niece (one of 10) and decided to take her school shopping. Yep, me, the opinionated writer/uncle, and her, the teenage developing girl/niece fighting over what looks appropriate vs. cool for a girl her age and body type. Needless to say that I looked like one of those bobble head dolls the way I kept shaking my head “no,” but as we walked down 5th Avenue (skipping the high-end stores for H&M), the abundance of women in see-through clothing provided me the perfect opportunity to impart some “guy” words of wisdom to her about how guys think.
1) Assume all guys are creeps… because we are. Am I being hard on us? Of course, but I’m her uncle and the proud father of a newborn daughter, and I know that within every man is a “Creep-factor” that most of us try to keep suppressed. Unfortunately, the creep factor is triggered by a women’s flesh, so the more of it you show, the stronger the creep factor becomes, and before you know it’s oozing out of us as we beg you to let us buy you the strongest drink possible from the bar… BTW, there is no cure (maybe prayer).
2) If a guy wants to see it, he will find it. In other words, women don’t have to wear sheer leggings to attract a man (if that's part of her purpose). I can’t tell you how, but believe me, if we’re really that interested in knowing, we can usually tell whether a woman is wearing bloomers, boy shorts or a thong without her having to go the extra mile to show it.
3) Believe it or not, guys actually dig being intrigued by a woman. The more of a woman that we see without us having to put in the work, the less intrigued we actually are by her. Never trade the power of intrigue for the ease of sexual attraction. Intrigue is an automatic indication of a man’s respect for your beauty and your mind.
4) The more a woman shows of her body to attract a man, the less that man will be attracted to her for anything else she has to offer other than her body. So it’s important to distinguish between physical attraction and sexual attraction. Wanting to be physically attractive is obvious, but when the attraction becomes sexual, it tends to become so dominant that it occupies an overwhelming deal of a guys focus toward you. It’s kind of like us seeing Halle Berry on the red carpet vs. seeing her topless in the movie Swordfish. Halle in the dress is physically attractive and intriguing, but Halle topless has us thinking about nothing else except how to see her completely nude.
Now, can that change after you and a man (who's been staring at your underwear through yourh shirt) talk and trade ideas? Sure, but the subsequent attraction to your mind hasn’t replaced or even superseded his sexual appetite for you. So in essence, his initial thought when he saw your 34 C pink-laced bra underneath your sheer blouse was “Damn! I’d sure like to ______,” but after hearing how brilliant your mind is, his thought is “Damn! She’s smart too? I’d sure like to ________ even more.”
Now before you post your comments below or on Facebook, which I hope you will certainly do, let me just say that this article is intended to be humorous (even though I’m dead serious about every single word I wrote above) and this article is only directed toward those women who show insane amounts of cleavage (by that I mean just about any amount of cleavage) under sheer blouses, with cat-suit pants in a desperate plea for attention from men. It is in no way intended for any of the three hundred and thirty three (I’m probably being generous) American women who wear the those kinds of outfits with absolutely no interest in how a man will respond. Okay, now you can let me have it with your responses on me…lol
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